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[25 Oct 2006|06:55am]
[ mood | frustrated ]


dial the gate!

[11 Sep 2006|05:04pm]
[ mood | excited ]

EDIT, screw being a mope, Bob Dylan is playing in Amherst on November 15th and WE ARE GOING!!!

Maggie, that made my day way better :D

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[11 Sep 2006|04:27pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Classes are yucy and I'm feeling run down. I'm still lost all the time and I have no time to get anywhere between my classes and UGH I don't know. Too much pressure, too much thinking about what the hell I'm going to major in. I'm hating my bio class. There are too many people. If you don't get there like 20 minutes early all the seats in the front are taken. So I have t sit in the back where the teachers never see you and you can't hear anything. Much the same for politics, except of course that Professor Ferraro is completely amazing. 50% of our grade is a website that we have to make about whatever political topic (this instead of a final paper or whatever) and the other 50% is a weekly quiz on world events. So basically, homework is keep up with what's going on in the world. I'm ever so excited. The nly downside is that it's hard to hear when people speak - so debates might be tricky.

I made a tota dork of myself in my bio lab today. Haha it was amazing.It was our first lab so it was pretty low-key - just learning how to use the microscopes and looking at unicellular kinda things. Samples of pond water, green algae, cyanobacteria, yeast (they were supposd to bud, but they just sat there) and also a dead flea and a fruit fly wing (those two were decidely less cool. eww we had to peel off the fly wing ourselves...) But yeah. Being me, of course, every time I saw anything moving I was like WOAH! And apparetly people thought I knew what I was doing, because a few people at my table asked for help and then one girl asked me if I was considering being a bio major. I dunno it made me feel good, like maybe I CAN do this. But whatever, mondays still suck.

I'm going vegan this week because I feel fat.

I need october break like you wouldn't believe. I'm going to Virginia even though it would probably be better to go home, because Erik and I are kind of dying without each other.

dial the gate!

bowie concerttttt [08 Sep 2006|07:50am]
It gives us great pleasure to be able to confirm the dates for The Highline Festival in New York next year. We were holding back to announce a full detailed breakdown of the event in an upcoming Highline Festival section on BowieNet.

However, we understand the need to book flights and time off work, etc., and so we are happy to confirm that the festival will take place from May 9th to May 18th 2007.

Stay tuned for confirmation of artists booked to appear and ticket details in aforementioned Highline Festival section when it launches in the not too distant future.


AHHH I'm so there
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[05 Sep 2006|11:14pm]
[ mood | confused ]

So, I'm at Mount Holyoke.

I don't really know what I think yet.

I just want classes to start. I'm still feeling awkward and lost and lonely.

I met with my academic advisor today though, and he's awesome. He's one of the art teachers. He doesn't think my whole bio/art double major idea is random at all. It was so encouraging to talk with him (plus he's going to help me get into that intro art class hopefully).

Also, today I got to hang out with Maggie and Katrina and Becca and Whit and it was the best ever. And Hampshire is amazing, even if their buildings aren't as pretty as ours. Part of me can't help feeling like I'd be more at home there.

dial the gate!

wasting time [02 Sep 2006|12:58am]
I had plans to get wired on tea and stay up way late to read that book for college that I pretty much neglected to read... but so far it's just not working out. So instead I'm wasting time updating my ipod and mucking around on facebook and generally not accomplishing anything. My mind is so restless. Outside, the wind is picking up. Autumn hurricane wind. Why is it always windy when something big is about to happen in my life?

I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow. It's silly, but I'm going to miss this island like crazy. I'll never understand why kids complain about this place so much because I think it's one of the most amazing places anybody could hope to grow up in. I haven't left yet and I can't wait to come home. How's that for a paradox?

Everybody's gone. I guess I'm one of the last to leave.

I should go read, I guess. I'm not tired - too much to think about. Lots of errands to run tomorrow. Gotta finish packing... I didn't do that tonight, either.
dial the gate!

[31 Aug 2006|10:19pm]
Tomorrow is my last full day and night at home. (I'll have most of saturday, but still.) My room is looking bare in some places and messy in others and I took my cyantope down... hmm, don't think I've seen that wall for a year. Took down my flags and string lights and things I wanted from my bookshelf and put them in a box. I have three boxes so far - two for clothes and then the random roomstuff one. I think it's time to start working on a second roomstuff one, but don't worry - they're pretty small boxes. It's hard to know what not to bring and I hate leaving so much behind. I'm going to miss my room (although it's funny - without the cyanotype and flags it's already feeling so much less homey in here).

I need to pack... a sketchbook. Yes. That's what I was forgetting.

My speakers are so not getting here on time. But the stuff we ordered from staples came today and I have so much STUFF but it's all neccessary and this whole college thing is so crazy.

Uhh, apparently I listen to bluegrass now. Or at least this song, because it reminds me of happy things.
dial the gate!

[28 Aug 2006|11:31pm]
Despite the cold, I began to remember how much I love the feeling of rain on my face. We were so close that I could feel every pulse of the music, like a heartbeat so much stronger than my own. People all around us, dancing their own dances.

And by the time he played Tangled Up In Blue, I had decided that this is what life is all about.
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stuffffff [26 Aug 2006|10:16pm]
[ mood | frazzled! ]

So, my new MacBook Pro is pretty much sex. There really is no other word to describe it. I'm not on it right now, because we don't have wireless internet here and there isn't an extra ethernet outlet in my room and the other outlets are in inconvenient places. But I've transfered all my music and photos and other crap onto it - just need to organize everything. And I need to try installing my tablet onto it. And I need to get a new printer. And I need to pirate myself a copy of photoshop because I am way poor. But yeah. New computer! Squee.

I ordered some new speakers from amazon today so hopefully they'll be compatible with it [I need speakers for playing music in my dorm because I don't have a stereo or anything and my PC's speakers are dying and all my music is on the laptop now anyway but laptop speakers are sucky]. So And hopefully they'll get here before I leave.

I have so much stuff to GET! Feeling way uber disorganized, oh geeze. So I'm going to be all annoying and make a list here because it makes me feel better.

Shopping on monday! So that takes care of clothes. I'm hopefully going to go off with my sister again on tuesday to get all the important stuff - like bedding and a desklamp and god knows what else. I need to get a new printer but I'm not sure when that's going to happen. I need to finish buying all my toiletries and girly stuff (I could get that kind of stuff there, but i like to be prepared 'cause I'm cool). Oh and I need to get my own flat iron and hairdrayer - normally I just steal mom's. Oops. And pencils and notebooks and whatnot. And the thing that apparently every college girl needs - a shower caddy (that whole floor bathroom thing is going to suck so bad). Oh and an alarm clock, because mine is busted.

And there's probably more random crap. I leave in a week! We're leaving on the 2nd on a 6:30pm boat. I have to check in at school 8am the following morning. This is so crazy. My parents were watching a movie tonight and there was a scene with kids graduating high school and I realized that it feels like years since our graduation. Summer's been so long and so good but I'm still not quite ready to let it go. College! Oh geeze oh geeze.

But anyway BOB DYLAN TOMORROW!!! I'm so excited :D

dial the gate!

like the last night on earth [23 Aug 2006|03:24pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Erik is gone. Left on a 10:45 boat on his way back to Virginia. I miss him so much already - and I know that's really lame, but I can't help it. We spent very nearly all our time together this summer. It's going to be an awful shock to my system not to have him here and not fall asleep with him every night. It's comforting to know that he feels the same, but still. I cried so hard this morning as he drove away.

It's not like this is forever. I'll probably [hopefully] see him in october. But I don't ever want to be away from him anymore. This has gotten so bad; I'm completely spiraling out of control in love and there's no escape and I don't want to escape but I never aniticipated I'd fall so hard for somebody.

Last night we watched the sun set, and I wanted to freeze time. It was so hard to sleep knowing that soon it would be morning and goodbye. I wish this summer could have lasted forever.

Now I only have a week or so until I have to go to school, and I'm scared. I got inspired though helping Erik pack all his stuff, so I started packing today ...or at least organizing and list-making)

dial the gate!

[18 Aug 2006|02:14pm]
Erik leaves for school wednesday.

I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to deal with this yet.

Fireworks are tonight though, squee! And I think I'm going to the fair today too. And I just got my paycheck. And our one-year anniversary is monday holycrap.
dial the gate!

[31 Jul 2006|08:06pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

So, I almost got run over by a mini van today. Yes, a fucking mini van. It was somewhat terrifying. Best (or well, worst) part is they were speeding, of course, and then veered off the road last minute to avoid me (gee, thanks guys) screeching tires and all, and then... SPED AWAY. Didn't stop to you know, check if I was OKAY or anything. Assholes.

And guess who was driving the other way? Erik's mom. hahahah. I waved to her, of course, which is why I wasn't paying attention to the death-van. She must think I'm a total spaceshot but that's ok... because I am.

At least now i can officially say I've had a near-death experience? heh

Anyway, awesomeness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMDNpWEXhIo&mode=related&search=

1 chevron encodedchevrons encoded | dial the gate!

[30 Jul 2006|10:12pm]
I guess Grandpa's memorial service was really nice. I hate that I had to miss it. I'm not getting any kind of a sense of closure now...

It's odd. It's a whole different feeling, losing someone you're close to but don't see that often. Nana and Grandpa have always been a big part of my life but since they're in New Hampshire, I'm used to only seeing them now and then. I don't think I'll really feel the full weight of this until the next time we go up for a visit... and Grandpa isn't there.

I feel bad - seems like I shouldn't be shopping and beaching and not coming home at night. Seems inherently wrong to be having fun so soon after a loved one's death, yes? But it's so much easier to forget...

Not to forget him, of course, just to forget that he's gone.

Love you, Grandpa. <3

unrelated geekeryCollapse )
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[28 Jul 2006|08:41am]
[ mood | crushed ]


He died on July 25th, early in the morning.

I'm just so glad we were there so I got to say gootdbye :(

His memorial service is being held today - I'm missing it because I have to get my braces off and it was too late to switch the appointment.

I don't know what to say really, still feeling kind of numb. I just wanted to post something because it's easier than actually telling people.

dial the gate!

[22 Jul 2006|10:45am]
[ mood | okay ]

Hmm... I opened this window and then forgot about it. So now i have no idea what I was going to say.

Not working until 4 (I have such a love-hate relationship with the late shift). I'm being all lazy and grubby right now and I want a second cup of tea. I also wsnt to go to the bookstore and buy The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul and Dirk Gently's Holistic Dective Agency because I'm on a Douglas Adams kick again (that man is my hero) and I haven't read those yet. I also want my paycheck so I can buy clothes... I mean, put it in my savings.

1 chevron encodedchevrons encoded | dial the gate!

crappycrappycrappy [21 Jul 2006|04:13pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Today has just been one of those days. You know, the kind that suck. Nothing major, just lots of aggravation and a general feeling of things not going my way.

Decided to go to the doctor after all. So I got on the bus, made my way on the hot, sticky walk up to the stupid clinic, signed in. They said it would be an hour wait [it was an hour and a half]. So, I went to Cronigs and spent 3.75 on a vitamin water and some cherries because I wanted something to munch on. Sat outside the clinic and listened to music for a while. This was all good. The wait was annoying, but whatever. My ear was going to be all better. Went back inside at 1 because that's when they told me I should come back. They were busy and everybody in there was cranky and there were three little kids bopping around and they were cute but kinda loud. Waited another half hour or so, then they finally called my name. Yay. Told them about my blocked ear and my weird foot thing. They looked at me ear to make sure it wasn't an infection or anything. Then they tried to flush it out with a solution of water and something, which is supposed to get the wax out and make it all better. It wasn't like the waterpik routine I used to endure at my old doctor's - they just squeeze the bottle and the water squirts out - so at least it didn't hurt. But it did nothing, of course, because that would be too easy. I also got soaking wet because it was dripping all over the place. So they tell me that I have to go buy some ear drops (they're not prescription or anything). Yeah, okay, I've already tried TWO kinds of ear drops and they've only made it worse. They told me to use them for a few days (oh, in BOTH ears because apparently the good one is just on the verge of blocking) and then come back to have it flushed out again if they don't work. Then they looked at my foot. "I have no idea," says the doctor. His best advice is that it has something to do with my shoes. My very plain and simple everyday flipflops which really have nothing on them (especially on the bottoms) that would irritate my foot. And the problem is ONLY on one foot. I asked him who I should see about it, then, and he rattles off the name of some guy who I won't be able to get an appointment with until the fall (great, I won't be here). He didn't even SAY anything about my dead toenail and the weird dry skin on that toe.

And then, of course, they charged me the lovely 20 dollar co-payment which left me with like $70 in my bank account (I haven't gotten my paycheck yet). Bullshit, I know it's only 20 bucks but it's so annoying because they didn't fix ANYTHING. And I bet they'll charge me again when I go back on wednesday. And i have no idea what to do about my stupid fucking foot. It's getting worse and there's nobody on this island that can do anything about it.

(What's wrong with my foot, by the way, is that the skin is peeling away on the bottom. And it's all itchy. And red and irritated and gross.)

Mom said she'd try to pick up the ear drops for me if she has time. I hope she remembers.

I got home, and I was hungry, so I decided to cook up the baby corn and zucchini Mom had bought from cronigs the other day. A nice healthy lunch, right? They turned out horrible. I should have just steamed them or something but I stupidly tried to sautee them with olive oil and they just came out gross. But I ate them anyway because I didn't want to waste them. And now I feel sick. And it's that kind of sick where all you want to do is throw up so the feeling will go away but you can't because you're stomach isn't actually upset enough, so it just lingers.


dial the gate!

[21 Jul 2006|09:25am]
[ mood | listless ]

I really should go to the doctor today... my ear is still blocked and my foot isn't getting better and blahhh. But it's rainy and grey outside and I really don't feel like going to VH and walking all the way up to the clinic. So sleepy. Slept awful last night. The rain woke me up and Erik's room was way hot and I had the weirdest dreams. And my ear drives me absolutely crazy when I sleep (I can only sleep on one side because if I roll over then my good ear is on the pillow and I can't hear anything and it bothers me).

Working the night shift tomorrow, 5-10. And then going up to New Hampshire to visit Nana and Grandpa til tuesday I think - because Grandpa is sick :( Like, really sick. He has cancer and I guess it's gotten bad. It's awful because I know this might be the last time I see him.

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[17 Jul 2006|04:41pm]
[ mood | gloating ]

Got my AP scores back finally. Got a 4 on english...

...and a 4 on biology!!



And I thought I was gonna fail bio for sure!

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[16 Jul 2006|06:29pm]
Hmmm, I appear to be falling apart a little.
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[13 Jul 2006|10:41pm]

Ahhh I want one!

(but they're only available in Britain bahhh)
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